I might have to wash my hair with Cillit Bang

I might have to wash my hair with Cillit Bang

“Beware snake oil salesmen” so they say. But apparently the same is true of hair oil sales folk. I was seduced by the promise of silky shiny locks when I handed over £15 to buy a bottle of hair jollup. But three days later, I’m perilously close to shaving my entire head and starting again.

The problem is, having drenched my hair in this divinely scented, exotic concoction, I now can’t get rid of the bloody stuff. Instead of having a lustrous, swingy, crowning glory, I’m left with straggly greasy hair that looks like I dunked my head into a chip shop deep fat fryer.

In the past three days I’ve washed my hair 12 times trying the following:

  • Normal shampoo - scrubbing my head to within an inch of its life.
  • Baby shampoo - which is supposed to be purer and without lots of additives.
  • Washing up liquid - yep - and each. I’ve used half a large bottle of Fairy liquid - and just for the record, no, it doesn’t cut grease. I’ve still got greasy hair.
  • I’ve drenched my head in lemon juice - followed by another application of washing up liquid. That yielded some result - it improved enough to leave the house without putting a bag on my head, but still not quite there.

In desperation, I turned to Google. Apparently there’s an entire market out there full of more £15+ products for people who have used too much greasy jollup on their hair. In case you’re ever in the situation of having to get axel grease out of your hair, it’s called ‘Clarifying shampoo’. Which is copywriter speak (ahem!) for Cillit Bang with a better pong.

If that doesn’t work, I might have to actually use Cilit Bang. Bloody copywriters!!!